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I’m sitting in a café while I wait for my brother’s plane to land and thinking about having good SEWF--self esteem while fat. (Is that like DWI, Driving While Intoxicated?)
I’m pretty fat, so I am speaking from personal experience.
I always feel best when I am in a place of acceptance and love. That’s not a place where I am told to change or even asked to change. It is a place where I can feel my beauty right now. Not when I loose weight. Not when I wear size 8. Not when I change, but right now.
At this very moment you are already a beautiful and worthy creation. You are already your perfect self. Your size is irrelevant. Can I use Oprah as an example? When Oprah was her large size she was already the beautiful, talented spirit who opened the path to self love for millions of people in the world. Sure, many people talked about her and criticized her when she gained her weight back, but carrying extra pounds did not stop her from showing the world her beautiful, loving, open spirit. I believe there is an Oprah in each of us, each a beautiful, worthy person, and when we accept our divine worthiness, we feel peace within.
Now I’m not suggesting that we should love the behaviors that keep us stuck in our misery, whatever that means for you. Maybe you do weigh more than you want to. Maybe you even weigh a lot more than you want to. Maybe you can choose to change something that doesn’t feel good to you. Maybe it’s your weight, your job, your lack of money to do what you want to do, or maybe it’s a relationships that is making you unhappy. And, maybe you are already living in your greatness.
Whatever the answer is for you, it’s your job to accept and love yourself for all you are, right now. I don’t know who said, “Happiness is an inside job”, but that is so true. At any given moment each of us has the ability and freedom of thought to choose feeling good. Rather than focusing on what our misery is, we can change our focus to something great within ourselves.
The story of Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search For Meaning, is a great example. A prisoner in Auschwitz during the Holocaust, he refused to be consumed with the hopelessness of his circumstances and by focusing on what he had to be grateful for, he survived years in that horrible concentration camp, and helped others to have hope also.
Have you ever been to a funeral where you heard comments like “She was such a fat person” or “She wasn’t very tall” or “She had a big butt”? I’ve been to a lot of funerals in my lifetime and not once did I ever hear a comment like that. Ultimately, all of that is meaningless. The really important things are remembered. “She was so sweet” “She was such a good friend” “We’re going to miss her smile” So why not focus on the good stuff while you are living. It just feels better.
Well, time to go collect my brother. I hope you are feeling soothed.
Maureen Carney is the founder of www.GrandePetites.com, an on-line community where Plus Sized Petite women find acceptance, support and clothing resources. |
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