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In the past, if you were married and didn't have children, you were suspect: women were labelled barren spinsters, and men homosexuals. Or, childlessness was usually the product of poverty. Today it's the perfectly normal way to be.
In much of the world, in fact, even in once conservative societies, having kids is no longer a given among a growing swath of the population - thanks to an array of factors, including relationships, career opportunities, lifestyle and economics, and better education and job options for women. The new thinking is: babies are great - if the timing is right, but they're certainly not essential, reports Stefan Theil in Newsweek International.
"Never before has childlessness been a legitimate option for women and men in so many societies," says Catherine Hakim, of the London School of Economics. In a rapid shift occurring in countries as disparate as Switzerland and Singapore, Canada and South Korea, young people are postponing children until they are well into their 30s, or even 40s and beyond, or ending up with no children at all.
"With the years passing, my chances of having a child go down," says Eirini Petropoulou, 37-year-old administrative assistant. "But I won't marry anyone just to have a child." She loves her work and gets her social sustenance from her close-knit group of like-minded friends, who play the role of family. "If at 45 I'm still childless, I'll consider having a child on my own," she says. But her sense of personal fulfillment doesn't depend on it.
Lifetime childlessness in western Germany has hit 30% among university-educated women, and is rapidly rising among lower-class men. In Britain, the number of women remaining childless has doubled in 20 years. In Japan, where birthrate stands at a dismal 1.25 per woman, a record 56 % of 30year-old women are childless.
The trend has spawned a new culture of childlessness. In Britain, there's a growing market for books such as Child-Free and Loving It, which journalist Nicki Defago says she wrote "to let women deciding against children know that their feelings are perfectly normal." New support groups for the childless have sprung up, from the Vancouver based No Kidding! to the British Childfree Association. In Japan, the trend toward postponing or not having children has given rise to an array of products like bedding supplier Kameo's Boyfriend Arm Pillow, and fuelled trends like the unprecedented surge in pet ownership. Honda is now designing cars that replace child seats with dog crates, and has even created a glove compartment with place for a Pekingese.
In Australia, real-estate developers have focused on the childless as the fastest-growing type of household. With their generally higher spending power, the childless are driving real-estate prices in expensive areas like Manhattan and central London; a recent British study showed a house's value drops by 5% if neighbours move in with teenage kids. Hotels are catering to the childless, too; Italy's La Veduta country resort promises, "Your Tuscan holiday will not be shattered by the clamour of children." And in many restaurants in Rome, children are not welcome.
Child-free households are fast gaining acceptability in more-traditional rural societies as well. Italy, Greece and Spain, once synonymous with fruitful families and tight knit clans, are now tied for Europe's lowest birthrate.
It's not just women who are opting out of parenthood; according to a recent study in Japan, men are even less inclined to marry or want a child: growing job insecurity and concern about the country's economic direction are the driving forces for their reluctance.
There is a growing backlash against the childless: politicians and religious leaders warn darkly of an "epidemic" of childlessness that saps the moral fibre of nations; they blame the child-free for impending population decline, the collapse of pension systems and even the rise in immigration.
In Japan, the "parasite single" is being attacked for living off society instead of doing his duty to start a family. In Germany, where the childless rate is the highest in the world, at 25 %, the bestseller lists are full of tomes forecasting demographic doomsday.
Michael Douglas is a relationship coach and he writes for Love-Lectures.com where he offers successful marriage tips and informative articles on marriage and relationship. Also don't forget to check out free marriage quiz and dating test and lots more at Love-Lectures.com |
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